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A letter to my son before becoming a big brother

Dear Zachary,

It is almost four years since I first held you in my arms. I fell in love with you instantly and spent many, many hours looking at you, marvelling at your beauty, breathing you in and wanting to savour every precious moment with you. For the past four years you have been the sole focus of everything I do. All of the horrible hours that I have worked have been so that we could provide for you. So that you had a roof over your head, food on the table and clothes on your back. Every weekend has been about you. The house has been a mess, there has been dust and overgrown grass but it's because we've been too busy having fun, making sure that the time we do get with you has been special. You are my first baby, my first love. My god the love I have for you is sometimes overwhelming. There are times when you drive me crazy but I love you with all of my heart and soul and I will continue to do that forever. 

Things however, are about to change. You are about to become a big brother. You have spent the last six months (we didn't tell you until we reached the 3 month mark) watching my tummy grow. You have squashed it, you have kissed it and you have cuddled it more than I ever thought it was possible to want to cuddle something. Every morning you wake up and you immediately tell me you want to cuddle my tummy. While doing so, you have been booted in the face by your baby brother's limbs. You have seen my tummy move around which you find very funny and you have asked over and over again if he is coming yet. 

And now the time is near. He could arrive at any moment and suddenly your role in the house is going to change. You are no longer going to be my baby boy. I mean to me, you will always be my baby boy, but whenever I refer to you as my baby, you tell me strongly that you are big boy, not a baby. And this is about to be so true. I know that when I am holding the newest addition to our family, you are going to suddenly look absolutely huge. 

You are so excited about becoming a big brother but I am not 100% sure that you understand entirely what is about to happen. You don't realise that I am suddenly going to have to split my attention. The attention that has up until now, always been yours. That I won't immediately be able to come and see what you have done, might not immediately be able to get you that glass of water, might not be able to sit at that exact moment and play with you or read with you. I will try my best but I know that one of the things that you are going to have to get better at is having a little patience. Because you take after me very much in that sense and your patience is seriously lacking! 

One thing I do know is that you are going to be the most loving big brother. I really do have no worries about how you are going to take to this baby and if anything, I think I might have to hold you back a bit from being a bit smothering. When we recently went to visit your new little pal Clara, you were immediately besotted with her. You stroked her head, you wanted her to join in our shopping list game, you held her like she was the most precious little thing and you laid with her on her playmat because you wanted to play with her. Honestly, my heart was bursting with pride at what a beautiful little thing you are when it comes to other children, particularly babies. And that is why I know you are going to be besotted with your baby brother. And I am going to try to be as relaxed as possible in allowing you to hold him, to cuddle him, to love him. I cannot wait to see the bond between you grow and you are going to be a key factor in that happening. 

I also have a feeling that you are going to be pretty helpful. Ok, so when it comes to tidying up your toys or picking up something you have just thrown on the floor, you can be pretty defiant. But the other day when I sat on the loo and realised that there was no toilet paper, you got me some from under the stairs. If I ask you to pass me something because it really is too much of an effort to move from the sofa, you more often than not, do so. You have always been a helpful little thing and I have no doubt that when I need an emergency nappy or a clean sleepsuit, you will be on hand and help me, probably no doubt wanting to join in the changing of nappies or clothes – you certainly wanted to help Liz when she was changing Clara's! 

I am so excited to be bringing this baby into the family. So excited to give you this new role. So excited to give you a sibling to grow up with, to know that you will always have someone there. Yes you are going to fight, argue, wind each other up, fall out, make up! I did it regularly with your Aunt Coo so I totally know it's not all going to be beautiful perfection. But I just can't wait to see you with your new playmate and to watch the two of you grow side by side. It is going to be the most magical thing and I am already so proud of the big brother that you are going to be. Your little brother doesn't yet know how lucky he is to have you.

The most important thing for you to know is that just because there is going to be a new little person in my life, it doesn't mean I am going to love you any less. I just have to learn to deal with even more love and how to handle those overwhelming moments when the two of you will be making my heart burst. You will always be my first love, my first born, my first baby. But there is room inside my heart for the both of you and I cannot wait to shower you both with love whilst you shower each other with love. I just know that you are going to make me so proud. 

All my love forever and always, 

Mummy xxx

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84 Comments

  • Reply Plutonium Sox

    Aw what a lovely letter to your little boy. I found that the new baby took up a lot less of my attention than anticipated because my toddler still needed just as much as ever and it was amazing what I could do with the baby in a ringsling! I remember playing games with the toddler, cooking dinner and breastfeeding the baby in a ringsling all at the same time – and it went fine! I'm sure Zachary will make an amazing big brother. 

    Nat.x

    Plutonium Sox recently posted…Thursday Photo #122My Profile

    September 8, 2016 at 9:47 pm
    • Reply Mummascribbles

      Aww that’s really lovely to read! My Amawrap is on its way to me so hopefully I’ll have my hands free around the house:) xx

      September 9, 2016 at 3:40 pm
  • Reply RachelSwirl

    Oh this is beautiful, I so hope that things go well for you all x

    September 12, 2016 at 10:30 pm
  • Reply Claire

    This is lovely. Your little boy sounds like he will behave much like mine i'm sure. Mine took to his little brother like he'd always been there, there has been no jealousy or resentment, we're very lucky! #twinklytuesday

    September 13, 2016 at 6:24 am
    • Reply Mummascribbles

      I feel that he will – at least I very much hope that is the case! We are having a few little troubles with him at the moment but I am hoping it is just a stage and has nothing to do with upcoming baby! xx

      September 13, 2016 at 3:20 pm
  • Reply Lucy At Home

    Aaaw lovely. I remember that feeling well – looking at my eldest (she was so excited about the baby coming too) but knowing that she doesn't really understand what a huge change it will all be. He'll get there. You'll all get there. My older daughter had a little wobble about 6mth after baby was born but that was it. It's so wonderful to see siblings playing and loving each other and yes your heart will burst regularly! Good luck with the birth and enjoy being a new family πŸ™‚ #TwinklyTuesday

    September 13, 2016 at 6:51 am
    • Reply Mummascribbles

      Aww thank you! That is so lovely to read. I am sure it won’t be completely trouble free but hopefully it’ll be mostly wonderful!! xx

      September 13, 2016 at 3:22 pm
  • Reply Natasha Mairs

    This is beautiful. I had my second child when my first little boy was 4 and a half years. he loved his little sister

    September 13, 2016 at 7:42 am
    • Reply Mummascribbles

      Aww thank you – that’s lovely to know. I think it’s going to be a really lovely age gap πŸ™‚Β 

      September 13, 2016 at 3:22 pm
  • Reply Cheryl @ ReimerandRuby

    Beautifully written post… My son was almost 3 when his little sister arrived and he loved her to bits, although they sometimes fight now that they're bigger but they are the best of friends.  I know Zach will love his baby brother to bits as well like what elder sibling does.  #TwinklyTuesday

    September 13, 2016 at 8:15 am
    • Reply Mummascribbles

      Aww thank you – I sure hope so! I totally expect them to fight (we’ve all fought with our siblings!) but hopefully they will be best buddies! xx

      September 13, 2016 at 3:23 pm
  • Reply Rhian Harris

    This is so sweet! I loved reading it #TwinklyTuesdays 

    September 13, 2016 at 8:25 am
  • Reply five little doves

    This is so beautiful, I think we always worry about how our first child will react to a sibling and yet most of the time they simply take it in their stride. It sounds as though he is going to be a fantastic big brother, I can't wait to hear all about it! Good luck with the impending birth! #twinklytuesday

    September 13, 2016 at 8:26 am
    • Reply Mummascribbles

      Thank you very much – hopefully I am right in how he is going to be!! I can't wait to announce – just want him here now!! xx

      September 13, 2016 at 3:36 pm
  • Reply Pamela Li (Rookie Parenting)

    So beautifully written! Althouhg your son may not completely understand at this time, he will grow to understand and appreciate what you have done for him. Good luck and keep us posted! #twinklytuesday

    September 13, 2016 at 8:30 am
    • Reply Mummascribbles

      You are so right! I am sure he thinks that baby will immediately be able to play with him! He was only telling me yesterday that if he arrives before his birthday party, baby can go on the slide with him haha! I had to explain that that is not the case!!! xx

      September 13, 2016 at 3:37 pm
  • Reply Sarahbel

    This is lovely! So many best wishes to you and it sounds like your 'big boy' is going to make a fantastic big brother! xxx #twinklytuesday

    September 13, 2016 at 8:52 am
    • Reply Mummascribbles

      Thanks so much πŸ™‚ I sure hope I am right!! xx

      September 13, 2016 at 3:38 pm
  • Reply Mummy Muckups (Anna)

    Your heart readily and easily expands to house the two. It can be hard splitting time, but just remember it is such an important skill for him to learn that he is not always the centre of the universe; though it's hard on you heart a little. This might be my last chance to wish you love, bravery and an incredible meeting with your new little boy. #TwinklyTuesday

    September 13, 2016 at 9:10 am
    • Reply Mummascribbles

      Aww thank you so much lovely. I hope it is hehe! I don't want to be writing next week's Twinkly Tuesday still pregnant!!! You are so right though about him learning that important skill πŸ™‚ xx

      September 13, 2016 at 3:39 pm
  • Reply Emma Plus Three

    Ah lovely post. My son was just under 2 when my daughter arrived and honestly he didn't even know she was there until she started moving around! x #twinklytuesday

    September 13, 2016 at 9:25 am
    • Reply Mummascribbles

      Haha that made me giggle! I am really glad that this age gap will be what it is. I always wanted a much smaller one but I think for us this is perfect πŸ™‚ xx

      September 13, 2016 at 3:34 pm
  • Reply notaneffingfairytale

    So, so sweet. I hope he looks back on that letter when he was oldler and appricaiates the time you took to write it and how much he is loved. I really hope that all goes well and he adjusts nicely.

     

    #twinklytuesday

    September 13, 2016 at 11:01 am
    • Reply Mummascribbles

      Thanks so much πŸ™‚ I am so pleased I got round to writing it before little brother arrives! Was one of those in my head that I knew I needed to jot down hehe! xx

      September 13, 2016 at 3:33 pm
  • Reply Laura, The Seasonal Child

    Lovely. Its such a scary time isn't it? I remeber being terrified thst my eldest would be pushed out and that i could never love my second like i did my first. I hope you find it somewhat reassuring that both of these fears were unfounded and that 18 months later, both of my girls are happy, and love each other dearly. I am sure your experience will be the same, try and think of it not that your eldest is losing having mummy to himself, but that he is gaining a brother to love, look after and grow up with πŸ™‚ Good luck with the birth and everything after, how exciting! #TwinklyTuesday

    September 13, 2016 at 11:48 am
    • Reply Mummascribbles

      Ahhhh bless you – in my current emotional state, that brought a massive lump to my throat. So lovely to read πŸ™‚ xx

      September 13, 2016 at 3:32 pm
  • Reply Mrs C

    What a beautiful letter for both you and your little boy to look back on in years to come as you remember this precious moment in time.  Hope you're managing to rest some as your body continues to do themost amazing thing it can do x #twinklytuesday

    September 13, 2016 at 11:59 am
    • Reply Mummascribbles

      Thanks so much lovely! I am so pleased that I managed to get around to writing this! I am resting – whilst blogging hehe! xx

      September 13, 2016 at 3:31 pm
  • Reply OddHogg

    This is lovely! Hopefully he stays wanting to help out a lot. I'm sure he'll be a fab big brother #twinklytuesdays

    OddHogg recently posted…Menu Plan Monday – 12th September 2016My Profile

    September 13, 2016 at 12:14 pm
    • Reply Mummascribbles

      Fingers crossed haha! He was still just as interested in his friend Clara’s pooey nappies when we saw her at the weekend haha!! x

      September 13, 2016 at 3:30 pm
  • Reply mackenzie glanville

    I remmeber when I brought April home and Aspen (aged almost 3) looked so huge when she had alwasy seemed so little before. watching the bond between my girls has been the ebst thing and one of my favourite things about being tehir mum. I am so thrilled for you all this is a wonderful new time #TwinklyTuesday 

    September 13, 2016 at 12:43 pm
    • Reply Mummascribbles

      Thank you lovely! He’s going to look ginormous! I cannot wait until they meet each other for the first time! xx

      September 13, 2016 at 3:29 pm
  • Reply Sarah Howe

    So gorgeous. I have no doubt he is going to be an awesom big brother and if there are any teething issues it will pass so quickly. He does sound so loving with babies. Can't wait to hear your news!!! xx Thanks for hosting x

    September 13, 2016 at 12:59 pm
    • Reply Mummascribbles

      He is just adorable around babies. Like it is so cute. In all honestly we are having some troubles with him at the moment but I still have no concerns that he won’t be the most loving big brother ever! xx

      September 13, 2016 at 3:28 pm
  • Reply Nadine

    A beautiful letter, another sibling is a masisve change for all. And though your time may be more diverted he will florish and rise to the challenge of being big brother. Lovely for him to read this in the future. #TwinklyTuesday

    September 13, 2016 at 1:14 pm
    • Reply Mummascribbles

      Thank you! I really wanted him to have something to look back on at such a special time. He won’t appreciate it for a while of course! xx

      September 13, 2016 at 3:27 pm
  • Reply Caroline (Becoming a SAHM)

    Big changes ahead for you all and it can be worrying to think how your big baby will handle a new baby… But sounds like you guys will do just fine and he will be a fab big brother xx

    September 13, 2016 at 1:15 pm
    • Reply Mummascribbles

      Thank you! Few issues at the moment with Zach but hopefully it’s just a phase and nothing to do with baby! I have the reward chart at the ready haha! xx

      September 13, 2016 at 3:26 pm
  • Reply The Tale of Mummyhood

    Ah this is lovely!  I bet you are all so excited to meet the little one!

    #TwinklyTuesday

    September 13, 2016 at 1:33 pm
    • Reply Mummascribbles

      Thank you! Yes, super excited – I just want him here now!!! xx

      September 13, 2016 at 3:25 pm
  • Reply Robyn

    That is such a beautiful letter and will be much appreciated and something I am sure he will love to look back on, I am sure Zachary will take his big brother duties very seriously.

    September 13, 2016 at 2:06 pm
    • Reply Mummascribbles

      I hope so! And thank you – I really wanted to write him something that he can look back on as it’s such a special time for all of us xx

      September 13, 2016 at 3:25 pm
  • Reply Briony

    Awww too lovely! It will be a wonderful thing watching him become a big brother and getting used to the new dynamic. I'm sure there'll be tough moments but overall I reckon you've both got this! #twinklytuesday

    September 13, 2016 at 3:01 pm
    • Reply Mummascribbles

      Oh thanks! Only time will tell πŸ™‚ We are having a few issues with Zach at the moment but it’s nothing that we can’t crack! Hopefully it’s nothing to do with baby coming! xx

      September 13, 2016 at 3:24 pm
  • Reply wendy

    Aww this is lovely, being 34 weeks with my second boy I could relate to a lot of what you are feeling. It sounds like Zach is going to make an amazing big brother. Really looking forward to hearing your news, could be any day now. Good luck!xx #TwinklyTuesday 

    September 13, 2016 at 3:39 pm
    • Reply Mummascribbles

      I am bouncing on my ball as I type!! Although I am not sure that labour on a day as hot as this is a good idea!! But then I'm probably not going to sleep tonight anyway so I might as well be busy haha! Come on baby! So exciting for you too – these last few weeks have flown by so it'll be your turn soon! xx

      September 13, 2016 at 3:41 pm
  • Reply jeremy@thirstydaddy

    very sweet

    September 13, 2016 at 4:12 pm
  • Reply Fran Back With a Bump

    This is beautiful. It's hard having a new baby and ensuring they don't feel pressured to grow up or less loved. Us mummies have enough love for all our babies though. Thanks for hosting #twinklytuesday 

    September 13, 2016 at 4:41 pm
    • Reply Mummascribbles

      That's so very true – i definitely have to not pressure him xx

      September 19, 2016 at 9:52 pm
  • Reply Angela Watling

    Awwww such a lovely post. It's also super cute that he hugs your tummy every morning

    All the best with what is to imminently come and it sounds like your new little one is going to have an awesome big bro! 

    #TwinklyTuesday 

    Angela Watling recently posted…Holiday time – our 2 week ‘staycation’My Profile

    September 13, 2016 at 4:58 pm
  • Reply aNoviceMum

    O my, I can so relate. I'll always remember the day mine told me he wasn't a baby anymore … and oh, those big brother bump cuddles – so sweet aren't they. It'll be a change for sure, and a really fab one for both of you and the whole family. Roll on for the adventure ahead; he'll look back and cherish this blog letter for years to come. I'm leaving this post feeling: 'another mum shares my feelings'. πŸ™‚ #TwinklyTuesday

    aNoviceMum recently posted…Do not touch my growing bumpMy Profile

    September 13, 2016 at 6:47 pm
    • Reply Mummascribbles

      Awww what a gorgeous comment – thank you πŸ™‚

      September 19, 2016 at 9:53 pm
  • Reply Clare Bailey ( Bailey's Blog)

    What a lovely thing to do for your son. Wishing you all the best for you and your growing family.

    September 13, 2016 at 7:35 pm
  • Reply Tracey Abrahams

    My 3 yr old niece has just had a baby brother. There were a few worries that she might get a bit jealous, but she is brilliant with him and totally adores him (even though he is according to her VERY SMELLY)

    #TwinklyTuesday

    Tracey Abrahams recently posted…Proud To Be British?My Profile

    September 13, 2016 at 7:41 pm
    • Reply Mummascribbles

      Haha that's so cute!! Lovely to hear it's all gone well there!!

      September 19, 2016 at 9:55 pm
  • Reply Right Royal Mother

    Beautiful post. I am sure Zachary will be a brilliant big brother, although there may be a few bumps along the way (just starting to experience them with NG & NC). Good luck my lovely – it's a rollercoaster! #twinklytuesday

    September 13, 2016 at 7:46 pm
    • Reply Mummascribbles

      Thank you lovely – I think a few bumps shouold be expected πŸ™‚

      September 19, 2016 at 9:56 pm
  • Reply teacuptoria

    Aw lisa that is gorgeous, Zach sounds like a lovely boy and I'm sure he'll make the best big brother.  It must be a strange feeling when you're just about to have a second child, wondering how on earth you can love something as much as the first baby, but you of course do.  Good luck Lisa! Lots of love Tor xx

    September 13, 2016 at 8:15 pm
    • Reply Mummascribbles

      Definitely! It's totally possible though πŸ™‚ xx

      September 19, 2016 at 9:56 pm
  • Reply Alana - Burnished Chaos

    This is such a beautiful post. Sounds like he is going to be an amazing big brother x #TwinklyTuesday 

    September 13, 2016 at 8:54 pm
  • Reply Sarah

    This is such a beautiful post. Your little guy is going to be an amazing big brother!
    Hope it all goes well lovely, good luck πŸ™‚

    September 13, 2016 at 9:39 pm
  • Reply Kirsty - Motherhoodery

    Gorgeous post How lovely that Zachary loves to cuddle your tummy – so sweet. Good luck for the transition to being a mum of two. x #TwinklyTuesday

    September 13, 2016 at 10:27 pm
    • Reply Mummascribbles

      Sweet but sometimes a bit painful haha!!!!

      September 19, 2016 at 9:58 pm
  • Reply Sharon

    What a lovely letter. Thanks for sharing. Wishing you and your family  every blessing as you welcome the newest member of the family πŸ™‚ #TwinklyTuesday

    September 14, 2016 at 2:02 am
  • Reply Topsy Turvy Tribe

    Ah how beautiful.  Zachary sounds like he's going to be a fab big brother.  Hope you ate doing well #TwinklyTuesday 

    Topsy Turvy Tribe recently posted…#My Sunday Photo – Campo Creatures IIMy Profile

    September 14, 2016 at 2:22 pm
    • Reply Mummascribbles

      Thank you – I think he’s going to be just fab!

      September 19, 2016 at 9:48 pm
  • Reply Helena

    It sounds like you've got it all sussed out already. #TwinklyTuesday

    September 14, 2016 at 5:16 pm
  • Reply Tim

    A lovely letter, Lisa. I hope Zach enjoys becoming a big brother as much as our two boys have. Having a younger sibling brought out a nurturing side to both of them that set all our initial fears to rest. Fingers crossed!

    September 15, 2016 at 10:00 pm
    • Reply Mummascribbles

      Thanks Tim – he absolutely adores his new brother! Constantly kissing and cuddling him and telling him he loves him. It’s adorable!Β 

      September 19, 2016 at 9:44 pm
  • Reply Jaki

    Beautiful. As Mum to a little boy a very similar age to Zach this really brought a lump to my throat. We are yet to decide if we will have another. I have always been to frightened about dividing the love between two but reading this has made me realise that you don't have to. The live remains completely for the existing child and new love appears for the new addition. 

    I saw today that Oscar is now here and Zach is now the big boy of the house. Wishing you all the biggest congratulations and hope you enjoy these first few weeks together as a new family. And of course the years to come. X #twinklytuesday

    Jaki recently posted…Floatation Therapy at Time To Float, StaffordMy Profile

    September 18, 2016 at 11:03 am
    • Reply Mummascribbles

      Thank you so much! Zach absolutely adores his new little brother!! xx

      September 19, 2016 at 9:36 pm
  • Reply Lady Nym

    It's such a worry – how they'll react to a younger sibling.  But it's also really exciting.  It sounds like you'll have a lovely little helper around.

    #TwinklyTuesday

    September 18, 2016 at 2:35 pm
    • Reply Mummascribbles

      It’s just impossible to know – even when they seem really excited!!

      September 19, 2016 at 9:34 pm
  • Reply Crummy Mummy

    A lovely letter! And big congratulations – just read your new arrival post! #twinklytuesday

    Crummy Mummy recently posted…Things no-one warns you about schoolMy Profile

    September 19, 2016 at 2:30 pm
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