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This too shall pass…never a truer word spoken!

It is a phrase that us parents hear time and time again.

When we are going through the throes of a really crappy time, whether it be having a bad sleeper, a fussy eater, an older child that won't listen. We turn to our friends. We turn social media. We turn to fellow mums. And amongst hearing or reading their own experiences, we are always told, 

This too shall pass 

At the time, it seems so cliche. It seems like it's just the thing people say to make you feel better when you are struggling at parenting. 

But it's true. 

It is true. 

This too shall pass…I promise! 

Since Oscar was three months old, sleep has been an issue.

First off he was spending every evening attached to me downstairs. He would spend the whole evening suckling away at my boobs and at times it was agonising. 

Next, we were co-sleeping. So not only did I have him on me every evening but I had him next to me all night! This was fine (ish) when he wasn't mobile but then he started rolling and I would wake up with him squished up against me whilst the other half was almost hanging off the edge of the bed! To say it was uncomfortable is a bit of an understatement! 

Then there were the naps. He was napping on me, falling asleep on the boob and having really decent naps because he was super snuggled. If I tried to put him anywhere, he would wake up instantly. 

We had one small bit of progress when I decided to feed him to sleep upstairs and leave him on our bed. Sometimes he would stay asleep and sometimes he would wake after half an hour when he realised I was no longer there! But again, he started rolling and suddenly that was a pretty unsafe option. 

Two weekends ago, we decided it had to change. Well, I say we, it was the other half. As soon as Oscar started moving around, the other half was not comfortable with him being in our bed. I totally got it but at the same time, it wasn't him that would have to keep getting up. Only I seem to be able to settle Oscar and so it was basically falling on me and me alone to get this sleep thing sorted. 

So that weekend, at bedtime, I popped Oscar in his cot. I actually managed to soothe him to sleep that night without the boob and he stayed asleep. I can't remember for how long, but he successfully fell asleep in his cot and stayed there for a while. The next night I fed him to sleep, popped him in and again he slept. And the next night, and the one after. He has been sleeping in his cot, in the evening for a couple of weeks. If he wakes up, I go up, settle him back to sleep and he is in his cot again. I have had my evenings back, I have had two hands for blogging, and most importantly, I have managed to regularly eat dinner without having to worry about dropping food on his head!

clingy 4 month old baby

There are still nights that he wakes up after half an hour. Sometimes he manages and hour, sometimes two, and on occasion, a whole evening! But now, all it takes is for me to re-settle him and he stays in his cot. Well, except for a few nights ago when he was clearly struggling somewhat and ended up asleep on daddy on the sofa! 

There are also the nights when I fall asleep feeding him in bed and so he ends up co-sleeping with us again! But all in all, we have huge success in his sleeping. 

Also, his daytime naps are getting better. It is rare for him to fall asleep on me now. Quite often he'll fall asleep in his pushchair, sometimes in the house and other times outside on a walk. Sometimes he'll stay asleep when we get home from nursery in the morning rather than wake up after half an hour. Heck, on the morning of the day that I am writing this, he slept for over an hour and a half in his car seat. I have also been making an effort to get him to sleep in the day in his cot. He may only stay in there for half an hour but it is all progress. 

When during those frustrating evenings I desperately turned to my mummy friends for help, more often than not, I was told that this too shall pass. I didn't believe it. You never do. Even though I have already been parenting for four years, knowing that these things never last, I still didn't believe it when they told me. The exhaustion, the frustration – it made me believe that we would be co-sleeping until he was 15. That I would never eat a meal again with two hands. That my blog was going to fail because by god it takes a long time to write a post one handed.

But it's true, this too shall pass…this too has (almost) passed. More challenges will come our way but for now, our little man is in his cot. And of course, despite all of that, despite us conquering it, I miss it a bit! Those evening snuggles! I don't want them back, well, at least not regularly, but I do miss them. The warmth of him. The feeling of his little breaths. The nuzzling into my boobs. My baby boy needing his mummy in her entirety. He still needs me. Still needs the reassurance of me going to settle him, of going to feed him. But he doesn't need me as much as he did.

I'd better start planning the next one*!

*Note to the other half. I am kidding…the pain of that episiotomy has not left my memory yet! You are safe**.

**For now! 

Update…since typing this, he's had a couple of unsettled nights, maybe teething…maybe just a bit snotty. There have been more cuddles late in the evening and through the night but it is still far far less than it was just three weeks ago!!

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28 Comments

  • Reply Folakemi

    Hello Lisa I really really loved this post because I felt every bit of it as I've experienced first hand these particular sets of challenges with both my boys- my younger one year old son only started sleeping in his room 2 weeks ago and I must say life has been much better! those long nights when he was co sleeping and he relied heavily on the boob as a sleeping pill, the thought that it will pass one day no matter how long kept me (and hubby) going.

    Folakemi x

    April 8, 2017 at 9:42 am
  • Reply RachelSwirl

    Sadly it will all pass with time which is why I guess we should try our best to enjoy every moment.

    April 9, 2017 at 10:21 pm
  • Reply Sức mạnh của lời nói

    It is a really good post. Any parents have to undergo a lot of difficult while raising children. I also say This too shall pass like a thousand per day

    April 10, 2017 at 11:12 am
  • Reply Chloe

    Hi, what a great personal post. I hope that things continue to improve in the future and that the cot continues to be the new destination to sleep #twinklytuesday

    April 11, 2017 at 6:35 am
  • Reply Helen

    Aww this brings back so many memories – my daughter was so similar for the first year of her life. We never co-slept as I was too scared, but she would have loved me to I'm sure. She only starting sleeping through the night when I let her fall asleep on me and then I popped her down in the cot. It was against all advice of 'letting them self soothe' (which we had tried for over a year and wasn't working!), but it worked for us. Now at two years old she falls asleep by herself and sleeps through the night. I'm so happy that you've made some progress when it comes to sleep – it's so so exhausting when all they want is you! Long may your evenings be YOUR time 🙂 #TwinklyTuesday

     

    Helen x

    April 11, 2017 at 6:37 am
  • Reply Nichole Goodland

    I hope all settles down soon. We are still being woken up nightly by both of the girls for something, but they soon settle straight back down so it's not that bad. 🙂 #twinklytuesday

    April 11, 2017 at 7:39 am
  • Reply Caroline (Becoming a SAHM)

    It's so true and can relate to so many things. Nothing lasts forever and kids have so many phases, even if they last for ages, they will eventually grow out of them! Xx

    April 11, 2017 at 7:42 am
  • Reply Sarah Howe

    Ah that must be so tough! Piglet took longer than her sister to settle in her cot than her sister but she tends to stay there all night now, She came in with us this morning and was hitting and grabbing us. Haha. Think if she sleeps with us in future..one of us will be in the spare room!!! xx Hope settles more for you xx Thanks for hosting x

    April 11, 2017 at 7:57 am
  • Reply Italian Belly

    I hear ya! I thought I got lucky with my baby sleeping thr night from 2 months. As soon as he got his teeth at 5 months I've been up at least 2 times a night at best. Also have had experiebcence with single handed written blog posts haha. It'll pass it'll passs. Thanks for hosting #twinklytuesday

    April 11, 2017 at 8:58 am
  • Reply Laura - Postcards For Findlay

    Leo is 8 months and I still try and tell myself this when we're on our fifth wake up of the night But then I realise that it will pass, and that makes me sad too as the time will come when he doesn't need mummy cuddles over night.

    Parenting is looking both forward and back whilst trying to be in the moment too! Hardest but best job in the world!

    Great post and thanks for hosting #TwinklyTuesday Xx

     

     

    April 11, 2017 at 9:10 am
  • Reply The Tale of Mummyhood

    Life is so much better when you start to get some sleep isn't it?!  I'm so glad my two sleep now, it took some getting there though! #twinklytuesday

    April 11, 2017 at 9:49 am
  • Reply Sarah - Arthurwears

    Wow he's doing amazing – we had to wait a long long time until we were at that point, but it is very true…it always passes … some just take a bit longer than others! X #twinklytuesday 

    April 11, 2017 at 9:54 am
  • Reply Naomi

    Aww wow congratulations on your new baby, and that's amazing for his age! I still co sleep with my toddler, who is 1 and a half and he doesn't go as long as your baby lol. X

    #twinklytuesday

    April 11, 2017 at 11:28 am
  • Reply Karen - The Allergy Mum

    Sleep….. how sweet the memories of you. It's been over 6 years since I've had a decent night's sleep. And yes, this too shall pass, sadly. One day soon they won't need me at night any more. The nights are long, but the years are short!

    April 11, 2017 at 12:32 pm
  • Reply Paula from Her Life Is Love

    I struggled with getting my daughter to sleep on her own.  Finally, I decided I want to sleep, too, so I let her sleep with me…and my husband sleeps on his own bed haha  #twinklytuesday

    April 11, 2017 at 2:56 pm
  • Reply ohmummymia

    My son is 1 year old and still sometimes he is waking up durring the night and if we talking about his day naps oh My God…he is sleeping on me or my husband it's so hard to put him to his cot because he wants to sleep with Mommy or Daddy but it's OK for me because I know that it will pass and I will miss it

     #TwinklyTuesday

    April 11, 2017 at 3:17 pm
  • Reply MomOfTwoLittleGirls

    So true. It does all eventually pass. Eventually. We just have to cling to our sanity in the mean time! lol 

    #twinklytuesday 

    April 11, 2017 at 3:19 pm
  • Reply kristin mccarthy

    Twins are almost three and I am STILL waiting for this sleep crap stage to pass…

     

    #twinklytues

    April 11, 2017 at 4:32 pm
  • Reply Baby Isabella at Dear Mummy Blog

    We remember those days! Occasionally we still  get the odd nightmare night or couple of days but everything eases x You are right – it does pass x #twinklytuesday 

    April 11, 2017 at 4:55 pm
  • Reply Susie at This Is Me Now

    Aww this makes me so broody! I really want another baby but I'm scared it'll feel all so new again and I wont know what to do! I do try to tell myself this phrase a lot, it kind of helps! #TwinklyTuesday xx

    April 11, 2017 at 9:13 pm
  • Reply Briony

    Evrything does pass doesn't it. It's hard to see it when you are right in the middle of a stage, it can be so all consuming, then before you know it you're onto the next thing #twinklytuesday

    April 11, 2017 at 9:14 pm
  • Reply Kayla Arnold

    My son is autistic and is goes through phases every now and then. His current thing is headbanging. While it's really hard at the moment, I know it will pass and things will get better again! Great post! x #TwinklyTuesday

    April 12, 2017 at 7:47 am
  • Reply Petite Words

    So true, this is what we need to hear, to get you through! #TwinklyTuesday

    April 12, 2017 at 12:23 pm
  • Reply Jaki

    Oh it's so hard, isn't it? There's always something. I hope he gets into a nice little routine soon and you get some more time to yourself. It's a good job they're so cute, isn't it?! #TwinklyTuesday

    Jaki recently posted…Clear Rejection – Wednesday Wisdom 22My Profile

    April 12, 2017 at 5:51 pm
  • Reply Adrian

    Oh yes I remember so well…at least I thought I'd never forget… those endless nights of walking the streets trying to get our baby to sleep or the evenings eating one handed passing him between us as he cried. And then they were gone. And now I can barely recall them! Three years and two babies and we have emerged from the fog. And now I get it. It will pass. So I am holding on to the final vestiges of babyhood as number two starts crusing and stops looking like a baby and more like a toddler. It will pass. So even when it's shit try to remember it! Glad to hear Oscar is sleeping well in his cot 🙂

    #twinklytuesday

    April 12, 2017 at 9:17 pm
  • Reply Mrs Mummy Harris

    Once Ben started sleeping through I felt like I was walking on air! It was the most amazing feeling ever! Congrats on the breakthrough! #twinklytuesday

    April 14, 2017 at 9:19 pm
  • Reply five little doves

    This too shall pass got me through the hardest three years when my youngest three were newborn, one and two. Sometimes it's hard to believe that it will ever get any easier, but it does, and it all becomes a distant blur! #twinklytuesday

    April 17, 2017 at 3:53 pm
  • Reply Crummy Mummy

    Little B is two and a half & we still have these issues – sorry not very helpful! #twinklytuesday

    Crummy Mummy recently posted…10 reasons I hate craftingMy Profile

    April 17, 2017 at 4:14 pm
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