Every day I wake up and think it’s a fresh day. It always starts well but somewhere along the line, Zach ignores us or is rude to us and it all starts going downhill.
It is so far like nothing else. Every single age comes along and it just gets worse and worse.
The thing is, he isn’t all bad. The majority of the time he is a delightful little boy, and no more so than when we are in public which always makes me very proud. But then he does something and I am left at my wits end with him. And it’s not just me. He winds the other half up something chronic too and it is leaving us exhausted, and pretty fed up with having to repeat things over and over again.
Today for example, the other half was telling him to get off of him. Only he didn’t. So he told him again, and again, and again and he just would not listen. We try to tell him that if someone wants you to get off of them, then you simply must get off – it’s important to know the boundaries and when someone is unhappy or uncomfortable. But he just did not listen to either of us and so I snapped. I shouted at him, I removed him from the other half and I took him out into the hall and onto the stairs where he then proceeded to scream. And I felt like the worst mother in the world. Damn, why wouldn’t he just listen the first time so that we didn’t have to go through this again and again.
I know that he isn’t the worst child in the world. I know that pretty much everyone with a five year old complains about the behaviour changes, the ignorance, the ruddy attitude. A lot of it comes with starting school, mixing with other children, feeling like they can do whatever they want! But that doesn’t make it any easier to deal with when it is happening over and over again.
The whinging. On the way to school, constant whinging. The constant requests for food after school and then having a meltdown when denied (because he’s already had three damn snacks and it’s nearly dinner time). The pretence on the way home from school that he is in a happy, lovely mood, only for us to walk through the front door and some demon teenager in a small body be let loose.
Every single day there is something. Every single day I say to him,
“Tomorrow, do you think that maybe we can have no shouting. No attitude. No rudeness. No ignoring. If you could just listen to us and pay attention to what we are saying, we can all be happy and not shouty.”
And the promises are made, the agreement is there, and then boom. It all goes wrong.
It is just exhausting.
And the worst thing is that I know it’s not going to get any better. I know that with each further stage, more and more challenges come our way. And then they really do turn into teenagers and well, by god.
I’m not really sure that there is any real point to this post. It’s a bit of a brain dump of a post, somewhere to just let it all out. But equally, there is some hope that I receive a little comment reminding me that I am not alone. And maybe there might be someone else tearing their hair out at home who reads this and thinks, thank gawd for that, I am not alone, this is totally normal five year old behaviour!
It doesn’t ever make it better at the time, but it always makes you feel better knowing that you aren’t alone.
Mumma (or Dadda), you are not alone!