I feel like starting this post with an O to the M to the G!
They always say that if you had your second child first, you’d never have anymore children. And whilst I am not convinced that is the whole truth, parenting Oscar feels SO different to parenting Zach. I remember him having tantrums – of course he did. But I do not remember him having the same level of disobedience that Oscar has.
Now I know that in the most part, Oscar doesn’t understand. When he has a tantrum because he hasn’t gotten his own way, it’s not because he is being a little brat, but because he doesn’t really understand why he isn’t getting his own way. But sometimes – sometimes it is SO obvious that he is fully aware of just how disobedient he is being and it is really hard to parent him. He winds me up way more than Zach ever did at his age, and when the pair of them are together – Oscar with his two year old cheek and Zach with his six year old attitude, I am literally tearing my hair out!
Parenting Oscar at the moment is like walking around a field of hidden mines – I never know when he is going to go off. We make it to school in one piece most mornings, and then he’ll decide he doesn’t want to be in the buggy and boom – he’s off on one. The thing is, he doesn’t want to walk – he wants me to carry him. And right now, it’s freezing, he’s actually gotten pretty heavy just recently, and the walk back from school (especially when we are going to the slightly further away playgroup), is really quite far if I am carrying him and pushing the buggy. But there is NO reasoning with a two year old who wants to do the opposite of what you want him to do and therefore he has an absolutely kicking, screaming meltdown. You know the one where you know EVERYONE is looking at you? Yeah, that one!
And then there is the stuff he does when I am telling him not to. When I am telling him that he mustn’t throw whatever it is that he is threatening to throw at me or his brother. When I am telling him to stop kicking everything in sight with meanness. When I am telling him to stop throwing everything off of the sofa, the chair, or the bed. And he just looks at me with this look. The one that says I can hear you Mum. I know exactly what you are saying. But I am going to ignore you and carry on with exactly what I am doing whether you like it or not. How do deal with that disobedience in one so young? And when I do make him stop – well then I am just enticing one of those ruddy great meltdowns! It’s swings and roundabouts, it really is.
And then to top it all off, the other day whilst I was busy cooking dinner, he decided it would be fun to draw on the dining table because he’d run out of paper. And then he drew on his tongue! Aaaaaaargh!
To make myself feel better about my new found experience of the full on terrible twos, I decided to ask my lovely blogging community to share with me their best two year old meltdown moments along with some wise words of advice (if they had any).
My 2 year old had a 45 minute meltdown once because of socks. I still have no idea what was wrong with them because I didn’t even manage to get them on her feet… or anywhere near them!
This morning, my son yelled at me for 20 minutes because I shut his dinosaur outside and wouldn’t let it back in. He doesn’t have a pet dinosaur (obviously). Then when I opened the door to let his imaginary dinosaur inside, he yelled for another 20 minutes, because I let the dinosaur in the house and it was going to get him 😐 meanwhile, his twin sister watched, saying “silly mummy” over and over again. It’s been a fun day.
Ohhhh my favourite subject these days 🙈 my daughter turned into a little monster but she’s still very cute so it’s hard… She often has meltdowns, over things like: she wants to hold 4 things but she only has two hands, insisting on drinking sparkly water but then not liking the sparkles going up in her nose, not letting her sleep in her bathrobe completed with rain wellies, getting orange juice when she asked for it (especially when waking up from nap) – really it’s something for every day. But at the same time she’s really funny and blatantly honest.
I broke a cookie in half for us to share. He didn’t stop crying for half an hour. We were in a coffee shop. I got ALL the stares.
I decided to ignore the child and the stares and drink my coffee and eat my half of the cookie.
Pick your battles. It doesn’t stop at 2
My wise words for a parent of a 2-year-old is have something to look forward to everyday! A glass of wine, a bath, a chapter of a book. Maybe all at the same time!
It’s developmental, and normal. Your child isn’t a demon, you’re not a bad parent and these days pass by before you know it!
There are so many moments that I tear my hair out as a mum to a toddler, but no matter how ridiculous the tantrum (Or whinging!) Is, I just try to remind myself it’s perfectly healthy (if not frustrating and unbearable at times) behaviour. Today’s tantrum was bought to you by not being able to get down a bird from the sky to sit in her hand!
Whatever strategy you do take, consistency of approach is key. Both parents doing the same thing. Even at 2 they are canny enough to play one parent off the other.
We found that a naughty mat and us both doing the same things has really helped.
Adopting this approach
1. Saying why the behaviour is not right (getting down to their level and being authoritative)
2. Then giving a warning that naughty mat is next
3. Taking to the naughty mat for a certain time.
4. If he/she leaves the mat, take them back until time is up
5. Asking them why they are on the mat, so that they have had time to process why.
6. Asking for/getting an apology and then moving on.
These steps gave us some discipline and boundaries, which is the thing that toddlers are always testing!
The other thing I’ve learn is that praise is far better than anything for getting things done! She will do anything for a sticker now!
My favourite meltdown tale happened a few weeks ago at our local shopping centre. She wanted to go on a Peppa Pig car/ride. I said ‘no’ (which is general def con 1 as far as toddler meltdowns go) and she proceeded to go screaming face down full on banging the floor with her fists as people walked past. Nice one. I calmly sat on a nearby bench until she had finished and when she had finished I asked ‘Done now?’ (nicely- not sarcastically). She said she was done…we proceeded to go home like nothing had happened!
I collected my two year old daughter after I finished work today. I changed her nappy and she refused to put her trousers, knickers or socks back on so to avoid a meltdown, I drove her home in this freezing weather with her just wearing a T-Shirt as she didn’t want her jumper or coat on either.
I have no wise words to help lol.
Ugh where do I start?! My favourite has got to be crying when he can see the bottom of his breakfast bowl even though there’s still tons of food in it (he tunnel eats). If he let’s me, I’ll spoon over it and he’ll immediately reveal it again and cry 😏
My tip would be negotiate, then bribe if all fails. I tend to say I’ll take something away or take him to his time out spot. When that doesn’t work, I offer a biscuit or a TV show as a reward for changing his ways 😬
Well my daughter has just turned three but we have had some fabulous moments. I think my all time favourite will always be when, during her “Paw Patrol is my life, everything I own must be Paw Patrol related” phase, she cried and shouted at me for over an hour because the Paw Patrol t-shirt she wanted to wear had just come out the washing machine wet 🙈
My daughter is in the midst of terrible twos – she had a meltdown the other day because I told her we had to wait until tomorrow to go to Tescos (it was 7pm). We had to ‘have a race’ to get to sleep so we could get there faster, then in the morning she cried because she didn’t want to go 😆
My son threw a massive tantrum just at the entrance of Edinburgh Zoo one day. You know the tantrum where they lie on the floor and kick their feet in the air! Yes that was embarrassing and I still don’t know why he did that!
What I found helpful is patience and ‘love bombing’ – giving them loads of love, kisses, cuddles throughout the day without a reason.
Thank you all 🙂
If you too are really struggling to come to terms with this new found phase, and how the bloody hell to deal with it, maybe give this a little read – because it’s probably worth remembering that amongst all the crap coming our way, they really are still very little and learning their way in the world.
Are you going through the terrible two’s right now or have you come out the other side (and dealing with a threenager instead?!). I’d love to hear your stories!
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