Remembering the brightest star in the sky – Matilda Mae

Today is a sad day in the world of parent bloggers. Today marks two years since our fellow blogger Jennie @ Edspire lost her beautiful daughter Matilda Mae.

Matilda was a beautiful, chubby, happy and healthy baby. On the day she turned 9 months, she was taken from the world. Matilda died of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, otherwise known as SIDS. She went to sleep and never woke up.

I discovered the tragic story of Tilda through the Mamascarf company. Matilda had been set to be a model for them the very next week and it was their post on facebook announcing the devastating loss of this beautiful little girl that made me aware of the news and I cried. I went to Twitter to discover what had happened and was simply heartbroken. My little man was 3 months old at the time and it really hit home as to how fragile and precious these little people are. How we should never take them for granted because despite us thinking we have them forever, life doesn’t always go the way we planned. Tilda’s story hit me harder than I could ever imagine and I have spent the last two years regularly thinking of her.

It is because of Matilda that we discovered sleeping bags, for I was so paranoid about Zach crawling under blankets.

It is because of Matilda that I forever have my eye on Zach. I watch his monitor continuously throughout the evening and check on him before I go to bed. He has only recently come out of sleeping bags and into a duvet and I have been paranoid about it; at the beginning, waking up several times in the night to make sure his head was still poking out and that he was still breathing. For when you know of a story like Tilda’s, you can never be too careful.

Matilda left behind her older twin brother and sister who were toddlers at the time. I remember Jennie describing how hard it was for them to understand what had happened. How do you explain to toddlers that their little baby sister is never coming back? Now, the twins have a new baby sister and I know that they have posed the question of whether the same will happen to her.

I know that nobody who hasn’t been through a horrendous loss like this can even begin to imagine the pain of this entire family. We can pretend that we can put ourselves in the position, that we can imagine what it would be like if our little ones were suddenly and so unfairly taken away from us, but the reality of that pain, of the day to day dealing with it, none of us can imagine that. Jennie talks openly and emotionally on her blog about their loss, about their other children and about how they remember Baby Tilda on the anniversary of her death. It is because of this that we are all so familiar with the little girl most of us never met. It is why for the second year running, Twitter is awash with messages for Jennie, with remembrances of Matilda, with the Matilda Mae logo appearing as their profile pictures. I have sent my message to Jennie directly but I also wanted to write this post. For Tilda’s isn’t the only story I know of a family who have lost their little baby to SIDS. I know of another equally sad story of loss.

I’m not sure that people are aware that SIDS still happens. Parents are, obviously; we have it drummed into us about how to let our babies sleep, what kind of sleepwear to use, sleeping bags, blankets, duvets; each comes with rules that we are taught as new parents. But despite this, despite us parents being so careful, this kind of loss still happens. Around 270 babies and toddlers still die every year of SIDS in the UK which is a shocking statistic. Of course, it used to be much worse and all of the rules and information have drastically reduced the number of deaths. But 270 is still far too many.

The Lullaby Trust is a charity that provides specialist support for bereaved families, promotes expert advice on safer baby sleep and raises awareness on sudden infant death. They have a wealth of information on their website regarding children and sleep; it is a must visit for any parent or parent to be. Jennie has worked tirelessly supporting this charity and raising money so that other families don’t have to go through what hers went and are still going through. Raising awareness in memory of her daughter and making a positive light out of a horrendous situation.

On this two year anniversary, I know that there are many, many people looking up to the sky to find Matilda Mae’s shining star.

Tonight I shall go home and blow bubbles with my little boy in memory of Tilda, something the family do regularly – blowing bubbles up to their little girl. I shall kiss him goodnight and together we will send a kiss up to Matilda. The little girl that should be running around like he does, who should be forming sentences, cuddling and kissing all those that she loves and having the typical toddler tantrums.

Tonight that little girl has been sleeping for two years.

Sweet dreams baby girl. Your star will be forever shining brightly.

Matilda

For more information about SIDS, and safer baby sleeping you can visit The Lullaby Trust at http://www.lullabytrust.org.uk/LThome

You can see all about Matilda Mae and her wonderful family at www.edspire.co.uk.

Super Busy Mum

21 Comments

  1. February 2, 2015 / 8:30 pm

    How very sad. ;(
    Nine months is quite an advanced age for something such as this to happen too. Thanks for sharing.

    • admin
      February 3, 2015 / 8:29 pm

      Heartbreaking. She was such a beautiful girl. The other one I know of was much younger than Matilda. Just all so sad 🙁

  2. February 2, 2015 / 8:47 pm

    Beautiful post….
    Whenever my two have bubbles or I see them always seem to think of Matilda Mae!
    So sad x

    • admin
      February 3, 2015 / 8:30 pm

      I always think of her too. She has never been far from my mind since the day it happened. Funny how a story about someone you don’t even know affects you forever. Bless her little heart xx

  3. February 2, 2015 / 9:36 pm

    Oh this is so sad. How heartbreaking for little Matilda Mae’s family and all who knew her. I have only been blogging for six months so was not aware of this but it’s important to raise awareness of SIDs. The idea of blowing bubbles to her brought a tear to my eye. xx

    • admin
      February 3, 2015 / 8:32 pm

      It’s something her family do regularly. They stand outside and send bubbles her way. I think it’s such a special thing for the children to do for her, to be involved in her memory that way. Such a terribly sad story that has always been on my mind since it happened. Thanks for your lovely comment 🙂 xx

  4. February 4, 2015 / 10:18 am

    Matilda-Mae is always in our thoughts and its just so hard to believe its been two years. I started blogging a month after Tilda went to the sky and watching Jennie and her family deal with that magnitude of loss as been inspiring. What a gorgeous post. Thanks so much for linking up with #MMWBH xx

    • admin
      February 4, 2015 / 7:43 pm

      Thank you. I know how much Jennie wants little Tilda’s name to live on and I hope I helped that just a little by writing this post 🙂 xx

  5. February 4, 2015 / 12:35 pm

    Just can’t imagine the pain and heartbreak. Wish that no family had to go through this ever again.

    • admin
      February 4, 2015 / 7:43 pm

      Utterly heartwrenching, I too wish that this never happened again, so sad that it does 🙁 x

  6. February 4, 2015 / 3:41 pm

    What a terrible tragedy and one that you just cant comprehend. My thoughts are with all of her family and everyone who loved her x

    • admin
      February 4, 2015 / 7:44 pm

      Thanks for your lovely comment. A tragedy is exactly what it was, so sad x

  7. February 4, 2015 / 6:51 pm

    That’s a beautiful tribute to a lovely baby.

    The things you write of mean her death will never be in vain, although horrendously unfair.

    Love to all xxx

    • admin
      February 4, 2015 / 7:46 pm

      Thank you. I know her Mum wants Matilda’s name to always remain out there and I hoped I helped that in some way by writing this post.

    • admin
      February 6, 2015 / 9:41 am

      It is. She will be forever be remembered though thanks to the wonderful blogging community 🙂 x

  8. February 5, 2015 / 6:04 pm

    I have heard about her but never heard the reason of her death. After reading this post I hugged my son so tight. Thanks for sharing her story. #sharewithme

    • admin
      February 6, 2015 / 9:48 am

      It certainly makes you appreciate what you have even more doesn’t it? Lots of cuddles for our babies! xx

  9. February 7, 2015 / 10:58 pm

    What a lovely and beautiful tribute to gorgeous Matilda. I keep crying every time I hear her story or even see it mentioned and I watched as the blogosphere pulled together to support Matilda and Jenny and the support they poured over social media to the family. It was amazing but so so sad. Thanks for linking up to #sharewithme

    • admin
      February 8, 2015 / 8:17 pm

      It was indeed amazing, such sad times though xx

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