First of all, to all you Mum’s out there…Happy Mother’s Day.
I have been a mum for 1993 days. And for 543 of those days, I have been a mum of two. Since Oscar came along, life has been crazy. I still can’t believe that in just a few days I will be writing his 18 month update. I know it’s cliche, but I just don’t know where the time has gone. It’s been a year and a half of pure love, of tantrums, of tearing my hair out, of feeling on top of the world.
Motherhood is a roller-coaster. There are good days and there are bad. Here is what being a Mum is to me.
It’s being up at 6.30am with a big mug of tea and a chocolate biscuit, trying to function after being woken up every couple of hours in the night.
It’s watching Zach jump in muddy puddles with pure joy – time, after time, after time!
It’s not having a complete night’s sleep in…well…I can’t actually remember.
It’s watching with delight as my beautiful boys play together.
It’s getting a sore throat because I have spent the whole day shouting at my five year old who will not listen.
It’s at the end of those troublesome days, when I sneak into his room as he sleeps and think he is the most beautiful five year old on the planet.
It’s having to share mouse sized nibbles of my chocolate biscuit every sodding morning!
It’s being super hungry in the afternoon and remembering it’s because Oscar stole half my crumpet at lunchtime.
It’s doing the school run in the wind, the rain, the snow – often with a crying child who isn’t a huge fan of his buggy.
It’s my biggest boy’s gleeful face as he comes running out of his classroom shouting, Mummy, and getting a massive hug.
It’s then having to deal with the next few hours of constant food requests, tiredness and attitude.
It’s about having to clean up the little one’s pee-pee off the floor as he runs naked to the bath. And accidentally getting poo on my hand as I wipe both of their bums (sometimes one after the other – their timing can be impeccable!).
It’s about being the proudest mum in the world when Zach spells a new word, writes something correctly or adds something up. Watching his over the moon face because he can’t believe it himself and giving him the biggest high five.
It’s about taking Oscar to all the playgroups because he is so happy when he is at them!
And then about getting his nap-time right, so that he has the best rest he can get to catch up on the missed sleep overnight.
It’s about dealing with the epic tantrums that both of them greet me with – sometimes at the same time! I’ll never forget the episode in WH Smith’s when they were both having a meltdown!
It’s about trying to get them both to sleep on a Tuesday night when I am on my own. I never realised how tricky it would be to get them both to sleep without me ending up in tears!
It’s about making life easier for everyone and bed sharing with Oscar.
And about snuggling up next to him, kissing his little head and thinking he is the most beautiful little toddler on the planet.
It’s about giving cuddles and breastfeeds when he needs them.
About raw, sore nipples when he’s struggled to get to sleep. Or has bitten me as I’m trying to unlatch him in his sleepy state.
It’s about singing Frère Jacques over and over and over and over again. I don’t know why both boys love this over anything else if ever I have to sing them to sleep (it used to be a nightly routine with Zach!).
It’s about sometimes spending two hours getting Oscar to sleep, only for him to wake up half an hour later.
And then sometimes after doing all that, having Zach wake up for a wee and demanding that it’s me that puts him back to bed again! Because other than a Tuesday night, in the last 18 months I have only been able to put him to bed a handful of times.
It’s about making dinners that don’t get eaten.
About caving into the gingerbread man request more than once a week.
About having to bribe Oscar to go in his buggy by giving him a Goodies bar.
And always having a snack for both of them on school pick up!
It’s about being brave and getting the craft box out when I am alone with both of them.
About reading book after book after book with Oscar.
About watching the dinosaur episode of Mr Tumble for the hundredth time.
About trying to keep them both happy when they want completely different things.
About trying so hard, to happily play Zach’s really boring imaginative games!
And saying no for the thousandth time when I have had to pull them round on the makeshift exercise mat a gazillion times! Or even worse, on my ruddy leg!
It’s about having to get through dinner and bath time before the other half gets home from work.
But about watching them splash each other, and have fun together…whilst sometimes screaming and not appreciating the hair wash part.
It’s about the battle to brush teeth. Getting their shoes and coats on in the mornings and legging it out of the door for the school run.
It’s dealing with the whingeing. And dealing with the heart melting moments.
But most of all. Through all of the good times and all of the slightly worse times (ok, sometimes horrific times), it’s about love.
I love those two boys with all of my heart and soul. There is no doubt in the world that I would put my life on the line for them. I will do whatever it takes to protect them. Whatever it takes to grow them and to nurture them into whatever they will end up being when they are older. They are my absolute world and I am so proud to be able to call myself their Mum.